Do Not Touch

When the New Testament was first written, it was written in Greek (not quite the same Greek as Aristotle and Homer and Plato and that lot, that’s earlier). Later it was translated into Latin and of course Latin was used throughout the centuries as an international language, which was all very laudable and whatnot except that ordinary people couldn’t read or write it and were forbidden to read the bible and stuff… and then Martin Luther came along and set the cat among the pigeons and this other chap called Tyndale did the unthinkable by translating the bible into English and Henry VIII… well, he had a bit of a god complex. And problems with lust.

Anyway… when I was a little girl I used to write plays for my friends to perform. Once when I was about 11 I wrote a Christmas play with elements from various Christmas-themed stories, including Narnia. There were Narnian shields (cereal box card covered in tin foil) for which I designed a coat of arms: the lion rampant and the Latin words ‘noli me tangere’.  ‘Noli me tangere’ is the Latin version of what Jesus said to Mary after He appeared to her in the garden following the resurrection (John 20:17). In English it means ‘don’t touch me’. These words seemed to be almost magical in their power, especially when combined with a sword and shield: Do Not Touch Me.

Every abused child wishes they could say those words, I’m sure. After reliving some pretty horrendous stuff in my EMDR session today I feel a bit like that little girl again, with her cardboard shield with its paper lion and Latin words. I feel like I’m fighting a battle with toys. DO NOT TOUCH ME.

Noli Me Tangere by Fra Angelico, painted 1408-1455.

Then this evening I read the following, and I felt God giving me an answer. It’s not an easy answer. It doesn’t change the suffering. But it does give hope:

…our Lord would have all men know that this soul is His own and that none may molest it, for it is all His.

St. Teresa of Avila – The Interior Castle

2 thoughts on “Do Not Touch

  1. Beautiful. Did you read Bronwyn Lea’s post yesterday (https://wordpress.com/read/blog/id/75526887/) about her wanting her children to know that saying “no” is acceptable? I thought of that when I read your words and heard your longing that your little girl self could say “Don’t touch me.” You are God’s and you are precious and you belong to him!

    On a different note, I wrote a Christmas play every year for my cousins and I to “perform”, but we never did a Narnian play. Wish I’d thought of that!

    • Thank you for the link.

      It is a strange process, this EMDR. It brings up all sorts of things you thought you’d forgotten, both good and bad, seemingly indiscriminately. It’s like rediscovery of self. I keep trying to tell myself it’s not too late, but on the other hand I suppose it’s ok to mourn, at least for a while. Anyway, thank you. You always say something worthwhile 🙂

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