This Life

The difference between the things you do without any need to push yourself, or make any kind of effort of will, and the things you wish you could get round to but somehow never manage, is just the way you represent them in your mind.

~ Julie-Ann Amos, ‘Install Self Discipline’

Self discipline is an important part of a healthy adult life. When you have been abused you can grow up with problems with self discipline. The negative beliefs about yourself can overflow into every aspect of your life. Self discipline is a means of self control, and if you have had your boundaries removed by years of abuse, it can be extremely difficult to recognise that you can do things on your own, that you are competent and able to make decisions.

When I was first a single mother, although it was hugely cathartic to be ‘set free’, all the responsibility seemed overwhelming. I was slowly drowning. God reached into the miry pit and rescued me. He brought me to Celebrate Recovery and to church. He brought my dear husband to me, and me to him. Through the six years of our marriage, He has continued this (necessarily slow) healing with gentleness and compassion. All I have had to do is be willing. This is the working of grace.

Now He is preparing me for the next part, whatever that may be, by helping me see my flaws with clarity, and the ways in which I need to change. Change continues, by grace, and I grow more and more in love  with my Saviour. I could not even stand without Him. I marvel at what He has done! This life is a miracle.

How is God working in your life? Do let me know in the comments.

4 thoughts on “This Life

  1. God is definitely working in my life, I’m sure, but I constantly feel on the edge of something. I lack the self-discipline I celebrate in principle and you celebrate in practice. Oh, well!

    • I’ve been listening to a guided hypnosis thingy to try to instill self discipline. I think it’s beginning to work, but it’s definitely work in progress. I will one day be the queen of procrastination. I just haven’t got round to it yet.

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